Demons

We all have demons inside of us. Demons that haunt our lively days, and lie eagerly under our beds for us to creep into their hazardous darkness. A darkness that we only see in our dreams as they, in their abstract and bizarre way, guide our epileptic subconscious from its Penrose stairs to its Belvedere. Children have these demons. From their childhood till their puberty, from their adulthood till their death beds, these demons will haunt you all for all that this physical life holds for you. But what are these Demons?
Wights?
Monsters?
Spirits?
Energies?
Whatever they be, they are a personal entity, a deity that only an individual can experience. So, shoo away, or embrace your demons, for they are mere parts of the Greater You. Who knows, what wonders these Dark things may have kept hidden under their cave under your bed?

For those who are unintentionally ignored....

With the backing of the truck you hear a radiant and disturbing noise. The reverse alarm that sends us wondering who even bothered to invent such a thing? But you know what? When you see an ignorant truck driver backing onto a poor little animal, say a dog, cat or maybe even their little ones, you'll understand what the alarm means to some. "Back off losers. Or I'm going to run you over." Be it an adult or a little kid, the smashing of the skull and the exposing of the entrails are nothing to the truck driver who probably won't understand his mistake, leaving behind a bloody wheel track for mourners and apathetic by standers to know of his route. But was his ignorance, intentional? Probably not. This is the very crux of the idea, to be taken for granted. The dead are taken for granted. The living are taken for granted. Be ignorant, or aware, you too will do it to someone. Just make sure that they don't own a truck, or any other means of murder. But don't worry. They probably won't even tell you about it. They love you too much. So the big question: is it Their fault, or Ours?

Whatever your answer is, it may or may not be right. There is only one answer. So do the 'Right' thing. Not what you feel is right. This post is for every person in my life who I have unintentionally ignored. It wasn't intentional. It is just a sick part of life. Maybe someday I will learn to manage it well. Maybe I too need some sort of a siren. For now, I just have this blog, trying to reach out to all the ignored ones. What will you do for your set? Keep thinking till I go live my life.

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light

The Perspicacity of the Night

There is something ghastly about the time that flies in the dead of night. It is during the hour of the ghosts that life can take simple turns of mental and spiritual experiences. As you lay writhing in the numbness of inexplicable pain, you wake up sweating from the chilly horrors that populate your dreams only to be left wondering about the polarity of the situation. Is it the light of souls that made your life flash through the sleeping pupils of dreams? Or was it the wailing of an undead spirit, screaming to be heard? Is any of this mental state, psychological? Or just another episode of the night, exaggerated by nothing but your mind and subconscious dreams pioneering a new chapter in the coming of a new day, in the dying of an old body and the birth of another microcosm of unexplained lifeless celestial kingdoms governed by that which cannot be comprehended by our toddler like minds? Whatever it be, it is your experience and for you to unravel. 

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light

Valentine's Day

I believe that all couples must be in heaven today for it is the day of the black roses' legitimate brother's day. I don't know if you can make sense of the previous statement but any greasy and cheesy nut can understand, it's valentines day. What a farce! The media has for sure hyped up this lovely day, or is it really that lovely? Do you think it is important to show your love just on 14th February? Why not everyday? Go show your love to your beau. Show it everyday. Every moment you can ever steal from life. Wear a condom.

That Pungent Image

Some things just happen to go by

Detailed they be but yet miss our eye

You see, some times, beauty lies in the weirdest of places. I was in the Khar Danna slums last week, working on a project, simultaneously trying to finish my college photography project. I’m no pro at working with photography, my best lies in my mind and my typing machine. However, this one picture is something that has caught me for a while. How detailed can a slum setting be? How colourful. Yet, to us, our perception limits us only to see the dullness and poverty. Of course that is what you will see emphasised here too, but take your mind off the conventional thinking and try to see the intricate beauty that this lovely, pungent image holds. 

Chills...

It is impossible to ignore the unsure chill that floats around us so erratic and so confused. The days begin with a shivering sleepy alarm clock and it ends with cozy blankets covering us up. But what of the day? Well, sweaty as a newly defiled maiden writhing in pain from the sin so wrongly tagged. Is there an explainable reason as to why we are poised in ignorance, not caring about what is happening? Is it so disastrous to even consider anything that is being taught in the lecture room while we all carry out our own blatant conversations. It seems to me that the Dark Days are truly dipping their toes in the water that is our Lives for this growing chill, or declining as you may see it, is but a pleasant ecstasy for the decaying fact that we all are cold hearted and cold blooded fuckers living for the sake of it, not for the true treatise. If you don't believe it, ask yourself, when was the last time you saw the sun in the foggy mornings of winter's ghastly landscape?

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light

Celebrating Existence

Just my last post, I mentioned the first anniversary of my film ‘Désespoir’. Today, I’ll mention something even more intimate. Today I finish 20 revolutions around our lovely sun.

Well, this might seem like a ‘Hey its my Birthday. Give me attention!’ post, but its not. I had some thoughts that churned in my mind. As the day passed by, with the societal rituals being followed, candle, cake and gifts being happily consumed, I began to think of a more deeper issue. I had finished almost 20-25% of my life, assuming that I would live to be at least 80 in this disease trodden world. With that, I understood, I entered a new phase of life. One where things will, and I too should, get serious. A new Phase. A new Chapter.

So many have been born on this very same day. So many have died as well. But I spend the day in lovely companionship with my friends, not caring about any of that. And no matter how dark and black I may be on the inside, I cannot but help it. I love them all. They got me the best gifts ever. A tiny army knife, many books, and loads of other things. To be true, these material gains I received have terribly overwhelmed me with a great wave of happiness and joy.

And as these thoughts cross my mind, I believe that the coming year is when I will, and I definitely should, begin my steps, from walking to sprinting, towards my goal. This is the second time I have done the same type of post. But this one is mainly to thank my friends for their blessing good wishes and to pay gratitude to the Gods that may or may not exist, for all the good and bad that has happened. For I am what I am because of everything in the past.Today, I truly do celebrate. Not the anniversary of my birth, but I celebrate my very existence.

The Past be a Prequel,

The Present its Sequel,

While the Future, an announced production,

That has yet to be planned.

It cannot exist without the Present’s presence,

Which in turn is nothing without the Past’s existence.

Life is a cyclic force, living with rules of causality.

It is our Dharma, it is our Karma,

To be what we must,

And to seek what we are,

for better or worse,

Through the Darkness, that envelopes us,

To the light we all seek,

But you mustn’t look for light,

Instead, embrace the darkness,

For Life is exactly that,

A meaningless concept,

That is full of Abstracts.

A Year Later...

Time so flies, like dust and its grain,

All seems meaningless, yet nothing goes in vain.

Exactly on this day, one year ago, I did something very close to my heart. I uploaded my first film on YouTube. Titled ‘Désespoir’, the film was our most ambitious and probably our best piece of work in the whole of last year. As I sat today at Cutting Chai, watching several films in their film events, I realised the fact that an entire year had passed since I had done something so fulfilling. One year and five films later, Ixius Films, our production house, was standing idle, waiting for it’s next project to come by. And today, it struck me what I wanted. The films I saw at the festival, that wasn’t what I wanted to do. I could not picture myself making any of those films, and even if I was, the film would turn out to be very different that what I saw. Something was amiss.

A year ago, I was naive, going through an existential crisis, just overcoming it by the turn of the year. Last year began with a great surge of positive energy. I did so many things. But had I moved away from my own path towards something just flashy and appealing? No, what I find appealing is very different from what mainstream and hipster culture features. I don’t like to see what stupidity the masses worship. Neither do I want to do something corporate like the very education that I have been unwillingly pursuing. No, I want to spread ideas, emotions and evoke harmonious horror into peoples’ lives. Not being sadistic, but I have a different perception of things that can get people to think, to explore ideas in an unconventional way. Then what went wrong?

Nothing went wrong. Sometimes you need to go through a dark tunnel to understand that the light you live in is actually a precious gift. So think twice before you blow it up with your ignorant godforsaken soulless endeavours. I cannot explain the purpose in life for our lives to be true are meaningless. And maybe that is the pursuit of life, to find meaning in that which seems meaningless. To fill the void that you have yourself created for your own sake. Live for whatever time you must and do so, without once diverging from thy path. And if the divergence is needed, well, it is but an experience you need, for it is important for you to grow and evolve into what you must be before you depart for a place much larger and higher than our own.

And so, with such not-so-dark thoughts, I begin this blog. I always wanted to do so. This is my step forward into doing what I have always dreamed of. This blog has no meaning, and yet is full of it. Understand and it is good. Don’t understand and well, it matters not. For now, I must say, to whoever bothers to read this, ‘Death is the Ultimate goal  of Life. So Die, but only after you have done Justice to your Life’.

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light